Arguing too often is actually a symptom of deeper
problems in the relationship. It usually comes from a lack of
attraction and flexibility.
Here’s a short list of things you can do to avoid
fighting with your girlfriend:
1) Don’t raise your voice or try to “out-do” your partner.
If you try to cut off a person or speak over the person
by raising your voice, guess what the person is going
to do? The same thing! And guess what that will lead to?
2) Don’t use labels or call your partner names. The person
will feel defensive and fight back.
3) Raise the attraction and THEN have a calm discussion on
how to compromise.
4) Compare the character of your partner with your own
character. See if you’re really compatible.
5) Don’t turn the relationship into a trench war. It’s not
about keeping score or winning every argument. Understand
that you do NOT have to win every argument!
6) Don’t blame your partner for everything. If you put all
the blame on the other person, guess what the other
person is going to do? That’s right. Act defensive and
blame you back.
7) Control your jealousy. If your girlfriend sleeps around,
it’s time to leave her. (Don’t bother to argue about it.)
But if she’s just talking to other guys casually, then
just make it clear that you won’t tolerate any cheating
and then leave it at that. Don’t spy on her or act
jealous all the time.
8) Make sure you have the right woman. Avoid over-dramatic
women with a lot of baggage. (I would argue every day too
if I were dating a crack addict with a drug dealer
9) Start Listening. Learn to listen to each other. Pay
attention to each other. Spend some time just talking
to each other every week.
10) Raise the attraction. This one is the most important tip.
The higher the attraction and chemistry is in a
relationship, the less likely you will get into a fight
with your mate and break up.
- Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice (psychologytoday.com)
- How To Stop Arguing With Your Girlfriend (transformermachine.com)
- 5 Truths That Will Change the Way You Think About Arguments (shaunanagins.com)
Category: Guide to A Better Relationship